Friday, November 14, 2014

When you can't feel God

When You Can't Feel God

So after you read the article from the link above, let me know if you have ever felt like that.  I seem to be in a season of that ever since a very big high of feeling God at every moment.  This is pretty vunerable to share with the world.  God is trying to get me to learn that He desires for me to want and need ONLY HIM ALONE.  I think through the experiences, it has taught me to only delight in HIM, and not what I can get out of the relationship, but to focus on who He is, and what He has done for me that day on the cross, to help me to keep that closer to my heart than I have ever done before in the past.  He is helping me to trust HIM, my sins I seem to always go back to is wanting control, worrying, and not living in the present----it's crazy just how important it is to give your whole heart to God. 

He also has taught me how to have more compassion through hurting people, and how important and crucial it is to love right there in the midst of the hurt, rather than loving someone once they've proven themselves, a false worldly type of love.  I want to love unconditionally, and it's still so foreign to me.  I can feel HIM gently guiding me how to show anyone and everyone unconditional love.  It's the world's greatest need.  And this is true of anyone, no matter what they have done, I truly mean that.  There is no hope otherwise.

I still am reading the same chapter in the bible pretty much daily, and I have to confess, I have not been as deep in HIS word for over a year, so this is major for me and my walk with God.  I have had a horrible time with finding one on one time with God ever since I started homeschooling.  Once I admitted that out loud to a dear friend, it convicted me of it, and I have been deep in HIS word again, and I am just having a deep hunger to give ALL of my heart to God.  I am so thankful for this friend who cares enough to spend time with me and to encourage me.  In the past, I felt unworthy of even asking for this, I still do, but people have shown me that it's not a burden to them, but rather a joy, and I am eternally grateful.

Well here's where God has had me in HIS Word:  Matthew 5: 3-12
(NIV)

The Beatitudes

He said:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(MSG)

You’re Blessed

1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.
10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

11-12 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

The older I grow in this world, the more I realize how much I long for heaven.  God, please help me to stay focused on you and to walk in your presence.  I can tell I don't have my own strength to go on anymore, and that seems to be a blessing in disguise, as it's helping me to lean more on you day by day by the grace you give me.  Please help me to keep loving, keep trusting, keep hoping, and most importantly, keep my eyes on you and not what's around me.

To end with a poem that I desire for those who know me but don't have the same beliefs as I do, this is why I follow God and want to make Him center of my life.  It's nothing of what I have done, but what God has already done for me when He died for me, there's no way to describe it other than the cross. He found me when I was at an all time low of figuring out this world and my purpose for it was so wrong.  I only know I am a sinner, and a sinner who God has made known His unconditional love for me. I'm still not there yet, I have too much pride and selfishness, even laziness at times, or just simply too much focus on ME:


"I AM A CHRISTIAN"

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost"
That is why I chose this way.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are all too visible,
But God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
Which is why I speak His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.
 Author: Carol S. Wimmer

Love in HIM,
Chelsea